


Let Nothing You Dismay

by proser132



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Bad Matchmaking, Christmas Prompt, Gen, M/M, Matchmaking, Oh nick, even though i don't celebrate christmas, which is cool i love christmas prompts anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 17:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5506262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proser132/pseuds/proser132
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(or How Nicholas St. North Nearly Failed At His Own Damned Holiday)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Nothing You Dismay

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Yule from this wee little pagan! And all the other winter holidays and festivals! But mostly, because this is Nicholas, Happy Christmas.
> 
> Prompted by Sakuradancer3, who is an amusing prompter, and willing to put up with my twisting of her prompts. :)

i.

prelude

Nicholas first noticed that Bunny was head over long heels for Jack one December afternoon, purely from the way Bunny was scolding him fondly for playing a prank on the yetis this close to Christmas. Shortly thereafter (by a span of about three seconds), Nicholas noticed Jack was just as smitten with Bunny, from the loving way he chucked one of Nicholas' sugar cookies at Bunny's head and laughed at the way the frosting stuck to his fur.

That evening, having sent the two on their way so he could work (a bit of a mistruth, as he made very few of the toys himself these days), he opened a portal to Tooth Palace, and walked into her central command.

'I am in need of your assistance,' he boomed, startling Tooth badly enough that she almost dropped a tooth.

'With _what_ , Nicholas?' she asked once he'd explained himself. 'Oh, no. I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole, dear. You are a terrible matchmaker. I'll grant you that they've already matched themselves,' she said to his pout, 'but all of your efforts? You mean well, but you'll make sure they never get together with how you intend to do it.'

'Nonsense,' he replied. 'I have plan! Foolproof!'

'Can't make a plan that's you-proof,' she seemed to mutter under her breath, but Nicholas dismissed that. He had an excellent plan. And with Christmas eight days away, he had plenty of time to put it into action. He'd start tomorrow, and then his friends would be happy, and he wouldn't have to watch them flirt in his Workshop anymore.

Win-win, and Nicholas was very good at making sure he won.

 

1.

_Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire_   
  


'Er,' Bunny said, stopped dead in the entrance to the Workshop.

'Don't ask,' Jack replied, dropping out of the air to stand beside Bunny. 'You so don't want to know.'

'Is that –'

'An entire tree, yep.'

'…I reckon there's chestnuts on there?'

'Ding ding ding, give the man a prize!' Jack said, then grinned at Bunny. 'Or kangaroo, as the case may be.'

'Oi!'

'Hush, you two!' Nicholas said, striding over and giving them both a skewer. 'Go, roast chestnuts. Is how song goes, yes?'

'Generally they're off the tree first,' Bunny replied, staring blankly at the skewers. 'How'd ye bodge that up, North?'

'I did not 'bodge' anything, my friend,' Nicholas huffed. 'Fireplace was too small. Best fires are taller than me!'

'No one told me Santa Claus was a pyromaniac,' Jack said, looking distrustfully between Nicholas and the bonfire. 'I feel like this is something you guys should alert future Guardians of.'

'Why future Guardians?' Nicholas asked curiously.

'Because if I go near that fire,' Jack said plainly, 'I might melt.'

'Ye'll _what_?' Bunny said, staring in horror.

'Well, probably not,' Jack conceded. 'Haven't been near something that hot while I've been like this –' a little burst of snow from a waved hand made his point. 'Maybe the whole 'Frost' thing is a little literal.'

'Nonsense!' Nicholas said, laughing. 'You will not melt. Now – _roast chestnuts_.'

Both of them went, giving him strange looks as they joined the various yetis and the elves underfoot. Nicholas watched with some pride, and made a mental note to tell Tooth later.

'You scared the crap out of them!' she said loudly when he finished his tale. 'Both of them ran out of here like you'd light _them_ on fire when your portal opened! How is that romantic?!'

'I thought it went well,' Nicholas defended, a bit put out, and Tooth sighed.

'What's your next plan?' she asked wearily, and Nicholas lit up.

 

2.

_Secret Santa_

'You want us to what?' Jack said, staring at the hat in Nicholas' hands.

'Secret Santa! Amongst Guardians!'

'How can we have a Secret Santa gift swap,' Jack said, sounding reasonable, 'if we have the actual, literal Santa as part of it?'

'You will give gift to name you pull out of hat,' North said, smiling in his least-threatening manner. It wasn't working, given the way Jack was staring at him, but it was always worth a shot.

'What if I say no?'

'Everyone else has agreed, Jack,' North said, only lying a little. He crossed his fingers behind his back to negate it. He'd hate to have to put himself on his own Naughty List. Besides, Tooth and Sandy had agreed, so all that was left was convincing Jack and Bunny.

'Ugh, fine.'

'Remember, keep secret!' North said, smiling again, but telling Jack to keep it secret was sort of silly, given that all the slips of paper in the bag had Bunny's name.

His warning came a little late, though, as Jack squinted at his slip of paper and said, 'Sandy? Great, what am I supposed to give a _wishing star_?'

'You what?' Nicholas said, and began to reach out to snatch back the slip of paper. How had that gotten in there?

Jack was, to his frustration, already taking to the air and thus out of his reach. 'Wait, I've got an idea. Your place tonight, then?'

'Yes,' Nicholas grumped, frustrated. 'You will be there at seven.'

'You got it,' Jack said distantly, and then he was gone.

 

'No.'

'Bunny, please,' North said, frowning. 'Everyone else has agreed.'

'Ye're a pain,' Bunny sighed, and fished out his slip of paper. Nick had checked the slips once, and then he'd checked them twice. Every single one had Jack's name on it.

Which is why he gaped when he heard Bunny say, 'Oh, Tooth, excellent. She's a breeze.'

Bunny was gone before Nicholas had the chance to say anything, muttering about 'sugar-free chocky' as he went.

Nicholas swore, quite loudly and creatively, before he left for the Workshop.

 

Tooth, indeed, received a little bag of varied sugarless chocolates from Bunny, and gave a lovely blue and white scarf to Jack, who was immensely pleased with it. Sandy received a small, unmelting sculpture of a dolphin from Jack (some kind of inside joke, but he looked pleased with it) and gave Bunny a bag of spices from South America that had him looking quite pleased.

Nicholas watched, unable to keep from smiling; his plan had gone poorly, yes, but he was always glad to see his friends happy.

'Wait, North, you weren't in the drawing?' Jack asked, a strange look on his face.

'Of course not,' Nicholas scoffed. 'I am Santa! I give gifts.'

'We thought ye might say that,' Bunny said, and the four of them traded glances that made Nicholas' eyes narrow.

'What have you planned?' he asked, and as if they'd been waiting for the cue, all four pulled little wrapped gifts from behind their backs and held them out to him, identical grins on their very different faces. 'What?' Nicholas repeated.

'Tooth said you might leave yourself out,' Jack said, 'So we figured we'd all do something for you.'

Sandy nodded emphatically and signed a long, complicated series of symbols that translated roughly to 'even Santa deserves gifts.'

'But I am _Santa_ ,' Nicholas protested.

'Just take the damn prezzies,' Bunny said at the same time as Tooth huffed, ' _Honestly_ ,' and the two of them shared commiserating looks.

Well, how could Nicholas say no to that?

From Tooth, he received a new handheld whetstone for his swords. From Bunny, a bag of peppermint-cream chocolates. From Sandy, a small sheath of whalebone. And from Jack, a dagger to match, made of the same kind of ice he'd used for Sandy's figurine.

Nicholas couldn't find the words to say thank you, but he thought his friends might have figured out what he meant anyway.

 

3.

_Nipping At Your Nose_

'Jack. I was wondering.'

Jack was in his Workshop again – the last two years he'd done the same, keeping Nicholas company when he wasn't ensuring a white Christmas – and playing lazily with a remote control plane, making it divebomb Bunny's ears. Bunny's presence would have been more of a surprise, if Nicholas didn't know now how these two felt about one another.

'Shoot, Santa,' Jack called down from his floating perch, just out of Bunny's reach.

'You have heard saying 'Jack Frost nipping at nose', yes?'

'Uh, yeah, of course,' Jack said, and had the nerve to roll his eyes at Nicholas. 'What about it?'

'Do you truly bite people's noses?'

Jack laughed. 'God, no,' he said, and floated upside down. 'It used to mean a pinch – I used to pinch my sister's nose whenever she got cheeky,' he said, sounding fond and a little wistful. 'I think she's the one who ended up spreading that one around. Actually, I'm pretty sure she's the only reason _anyone_ knew my name.'

'Ye'd pinch her nose?' Bunny said, looking confused.

'Yeah, like this, Bun-bun,' Jack said, and dropped down abruptly, catching Bunny's flat nose between his thumb and forefinger and pinching lightly. He let go and spiralled out of reach as Bunny yelped in surprise, laughter ringing out and echoing around the Workshop.

'Get _back_ here, ye little blighter,' Bunny yelled after him. 'I'm going to job ye good this time, I swear on me boomerangs –'

Nicholas laughed uproariously as they chased one another all over the Workshop. Maybe the time was for more subtle actions to take precedence. Gently shove them together.

He thought that perhaps 'gently shove them together' was a bit contradictory, but that was the spice of life. Contradiction.

Or variety. He didn't much care for English idioms.

 

 

4.

_Family Dinner_

'No.'

'You two refuse all my best plans,' Nicholas said huffily, glaring at them both. 'What is possibly wrong with Christmas Dinner? We will have it tonight. Will not intrude on holiday. I see no issue!'

'Oh,' Jack said, looking relieved. 'I thought you meant on Christmas.'

'Why would I do that?' Nicholas replied, genuinely confused. 'I sleep Christmas day.'

He distinctly heard Jack say 'That explains a lot,' but it was mostly overshadowed by Bunny's loud and emphatic 'I don't care _when_ ye do it, no.'

'Why not?'

'The last time ye tried to host a Christmas Dinner, ye got Sandy so sloshed he –'

'Alright, you have point,' Nicholas interrupted hastily, because Jack had perked up. 'No alcohol, I promise.'

'You're Russian,' Jack said, distracted from his curiosity by his surprise. 'You have alcohol with everything.'

'Not everything,' Nicholas protested.

'I've seen ye drink with brekkie.'

'Bloody Marys are breakfast drinks,' Nicholas said knowledgeably.

'They're _hangover_ drinks,' Bunny argued.

'I never have hangover!'

'That, I can believe,' Jack said, shaking his head. 'So, wait, is Christmas Dinner on or off?'

'On,' said Nicholas at the same second Bunny said, 'Off.'

'This ought to be good,' Jack replied, and leaned back.

Christmas dinner was an unmitigated disaster, and they all swore to never speak of it again. This is what Nicholas got for attempting to be subtle, he thought crossly as he picked bits of Christmas pudding out of his beard.

'Subtlety is not my strength,' he said mournfully to Tooth, and then couldn't speak to her, because every time she saw his face she burst into helpless laughter.

On the positive side, he had seen Jack heroically take most of the explosion on himself, pushing Bunny out of the way, and even now they were fussing over one another, brushing crumbs and larger pieces of food off of shoulders and arms.

When Nicholas found out who had let the elves assist with the cooking, he was going to fire his first yeti, he swore it.

 

 

5.

_Mistletoe_

There was mistletoe everywhere. _Everywhere_.

'Who put elves in charge of decorations!' he shouted helplessly, but the Workshop was in full swing, and almost no one could hear him. 'This! Is too! Much mistletoe!'

'Oh, shit, really?' Jack said from behind him as he wandered into the room. 'I thought it was some kind of wreath garland.'

'Nah, mate, mistletoe,' Bunny said, reaching over his head and plucking one of the leaves. 'Look at the shape.'

'Ha!' Nicholas said, pointing at them. 'You are under mistletoe!'

'North, everyone's under mistletoe right now,' Jack said, making a face. 'I'm not kissing every single elf in here, no matter the tradition.'

'I meant you two!'

'Ye're under it with us,' Bunny replied.

North swore, loudly and long, and gave up.

 

6.

_Stocking Stuffers_

Nicholas was starting to think he was losing his touch. Here he was, Christmas Eve, and he'd failed entirely to make his friends admit their ridiculously obvious feelings for each other.

Tooth listened sympathetically for a few minutes, then said, 'Can't lose a touch you never had,' at which point Nicholas gave up listening to her entirely. Clearly she was delusional.

'Sandy, I am begging,' he said to his other friend, the one who so far had only laughed once or twice at him (it was a pity, that he had to rank it as _only_ once or twice). 'I need assistance. I do not know what to do!'

Sandy looked at him, then signed something that translated, essentially, to 'give up?'

'Sandy!'

A shrug.

'How are we all this terrible!' Nicholas said, throwing his hands in the air.

Sandy began to sign something, but interrupted himself with a bright light bulb. The plan he signed was absolutely devious, and Nicholas began to laugh in glee as it went on. This was perfect, it _had_ to work.

'Can you mimic Bunny's handwriting?' he said, then swore when he realised the time. 'I must go – I leave it in your capable hands! Get it to me just before I leave!'

Sandy nodded, looking quite cheerful, and Nicholas had to agree. Fake love letters would _have_ to spur some kind of reaction, Nicholas just knew it. He'd just tuck them into some spare stockings he had, and drop them off during his rounds!

Sandy handed him the letters when he met him beside the sleigh, and Nicholas grinned. This, at last, was foolproof.

 

 

7.

_The Perfect Gift_

Nicholas awoke Christmas evening to loud banging on his bedroom door. He stumbled out of bed, alarmed, and opened the door.

Before him, looking ruffled and annoyed, were Jack and Bunny, hands on their hips in what seemed to be entirely unplanned unison. Behind them floated Tooth and Sandy, with unreadable looks on their faces (though their mouths kept twitching, like they wanted to smile).

'What is this rubbish?' Bunny demanded, shoving a piece of paper into Nicholas's face.

Under his nose, in Sandy's clear and neat handwriting, was the worst attempt at a love letter Nicholas had ever seen, as it wasn't a love letter at all, but a careful detailing of everything Nicholas had been attempting the last few days.

'You are dead to me,' Nicholas said over Bunny's shoulder to Sandy, who shrugged.

'You've been trying to get us together?' Jack said flatly, crossing his arms.

'Yes,' Nicholas agreed, because the cat was out of the bag now (if not released entirely early by a lying _sneak_ of a friend). 'You two would make good couple.'

'And how,' Bunny said dangerously, 'do ye figure that?'

'It is obvious to anyone with half brain,' Nicholas replied, and Jack and Bunny traded a look.

It was not the look Nicholas expected. It wasn't angry, or even annoyed; instead, it was deeply, deeply amused.

'Obvious, huh,' Jack said, and grinned at Nicholas. 'So you want to tell us how you didn't figure out that we've been dating for the past year?'

Nicholas froze.

Behind them, Tooth slapped a hand over her mouth, but not before a giggle escaped. Nicholas turned his slow, betrayed look to her.

'You.'

'Happy Christmas!' she said, then turned and took off.

' _TOOTHIANA!_ ' Nicholas roared, shoving past Jack and Bunny, who were laughing like it was the only thing they were capable of. ' _YOU KNEW ALL ALONG!_ '

'A girl's got to have her fun!' Tooth shouted back over her shoulder, and Nicholas sprinted after her.

' _I WILL DICE YOU! YOU WILL NEVER COLLECT ANOTHER TOOTH! MANNY WILL SIMPLY HAVE TO PICK NEW GUARDIAN, BECAUSE TOOTH FAIRY'S DAYS ARE OVER!_ '

'Got to catch me!'

Behind him, he could still hear Jack and Bunny snickering, but he'd deal with them later.

He didn't know what he'd do when he caught Tooth, but it _wouldn't_ be pretty.

 

 

ii.

postlude

'Ye were right, love,' Aster said, looking at Jack fondly as Nicholas barrelled past them and followed the merrily laughing Tooth. 'Excellent prank.'

'You love them when they're not on you,' Jack said, and kissed Aster's nose.

'I love _ye_ ,' Aster replied, and Jack grinned. 'Oh, and Sandy?'

Sandy looked at him, question mark flickering to life.

'Ye might want to hide before North comes back,' Aster advised.

Sandy's face dropped into one of realising horror, and scrammed.

'Come on,' Jack said, nuzzling Aster's cheek with his own. 'I can think of way better places to be. Especially since I couldn't stay with you last night, or we'd have tipped North off.'

'Home, then?' Aster asked, and as always, it was a little spark of Joy in his chest, that he had someone to share the Warren with at last, someone else to call it home.

'Home,' Jack agreed, his eyes having flared just the tiniest bit with Aster's burst of happiness, and kissed Aster with a love that Aster could feel in his bones.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tooth, oh my god


End file.
